It has been just over 6 months since I stepped off the plane from Israel and 5 days later joined the rest of the Massachusetts community by staying home. It has been a very fast 6 months and I have much to be grateful for. I am very aware of how fortunate I’ve been to live surrounded by nature and to have access everyday to beautiful walks and sunlight as the seasons have shifted. I have been present to the budding and leafing of trees and shrubs, to robins building and inhabiting their nests as they bring their young ones along and, then, teach them to fly. There have been days of solitude and quiet, reading, meditating, enjoying beautifully prepared meals with my husband and so much time just together. I have not missed a busy schedule and have been able to put aside my need to be measurably productive. The days are simple, with some touchstones, my morning walk with my dogs, Hebrew College classes, an IJS meditation at 12:30 each weekday, some zoom calls and dinner, sometimes scrabble, some TV and very little news other than national news at dinnertime. I realize that I’ve adjusted to the quiet and have enough of everything I need. Most importantly, I and my family are healthy and feel safe.
Each day I walk with my very closest friend, Deborah, her three dogs and my three taking paths in the woods, regardless of weather and cold. It is a joy for me and especially for our 6 dogs who light up each morning as they greet each other…very simple pleasures. I am aware every day of our good fortune. We are sheltered and fed, do not have to worry about educating children at home. Our community of friends is a virtual one now and I am so thankful for the technology that allows us to not only connect by voice but to see each other, almost like being together in person.
I have been so stressed by the news of so many black lives taken by police, the majority indiscriminately. And with all the discussion about racism, I’ve been focused on my own instantiated racism. I would never have identified that way but I know now that I carry prejudice at some deep level and I am sad and distressed by this. I am trying to have more open conversations with people of color, including our goddaughter who is Latina and who I always viewed as white. Facing myself on this issue of racism has been challenging and upsetting. I have a lot of introspection and learning ahead.
